Jake
The State of Florida has asked us to Disclose our sexual crimes to you We were bad, but now we're good We're moving into your neighbourhood You know we're trying our best to be Functioning member of society We're not here to start trouble We're legally required to do the "Sex Offender Shuffle" I'm Larry Arthauer and I'll refrain From touching my neighbor's kid's again What I did was not too kind But I'm a nice guy, you'll come to find I've got a backyard and a real nice pool Y'all should come over for a BBQ We could make some cold drinks in my blender But do keep in mind I'm a sex offender Vernon Douglas is my name My battery arrest is what brought me fame But there's much more to know about me I love to dance, and I love to ski I zip and zoom through the snow Just strap on my boots and watch me go But I can't ski until December So until then I'm just a sex offender I'm Charles Dolling, dropping rhymes I've been arrested seven times I know that sounds like a lot But three of those times were for vandalism I feel real bad, I got caught I might do it again, probably not I'm not here to make pretences I'm here 'cos of my sex offences I'm Sam Pound, I'm number one Apologising for what I've done Case you're wondering what that was I snuck into a bathroom and *cuts off* *blarghs back in*eats those truffles I'm just here to do the sex offender shuffle Hey everybody I'm Laura Hughes Proving girls can do it too And by it I mean touch your cousin Was it worth it? No it wasn't You won't find me in your child's play sack(?) 'cos I've gotta wear this ankle bracelet I'm not here to go on a bender I'm here because I'm a sex offender Last name Burmholdt, first name Marc I'm moving in somewhere on your block Not in a house, but in a van If you need me to move it, I sure can The last thing I want is any trouble I've learnt my lesson from the sex offender shuffle I'm the one they call Arthur Chase They said I didn't have to show my face My first trial ended in a hung jury If I'm found guilty they'll un-blur me I'm not the necrophiliac Arthur Chase That's a different Arthur Chase I'm not here to be my own defender I'm here because I'm possibly a sex offender Okay real quick I don't like these people, okay this is an extortion plot by my wife who's the only witness and she's trying to take away my kids and if *shotgun cocking* I'm not here to pack my duffle I'm just here to do the sex offender shuffle The State of Florida has asked us to Disclose our sexual crimes to you We were bad, nut now we're good We're moving into your neighbourhood We're obliged to admit The crimes of which we were convicted We're not here to start trouble We're legally required to do the "Sex Offender Shuffle"